Your job is the following:
- Pick a specific audience (age, cultural, interests, etc.)
- Decide upon a particular moral, eg. do not envy your neighbour's property, the grass is not greener on the other side, respect your elders, etc.
- Compose a 300-400 word story that conveys this moral using exciting events and scenarios which would be appropriate for and appeal to your chosen audience.
- Check and edit your work for punctuation, spelling, capitalisation, grammar and syntax.
- Copy and paste your work as a "comment" on this blog post - Make sure your name is on it.
What goes around comes around
ReplyDeleteMelad Najem 11 C
Target audience = children
Joe Rogers is the school bully at ST Patrick’s Marist college east wood. Every day he would torment fellow students at the school. Pick on the yr 7s, make other students but his lunch, bete up other students. Everyone at the school was too scared to tell anyone. A new student arrived at the school and Joe immediately began to bully him, however this new student was prepared to stick up for himself and others. Joe thought that if he couldn’t bully this new student then he would take his anger out on other people. The new student, mike decided to muster up his courage and tell the yr coordinator. Joe found himself in a very bad position facing being expelled; he never listened to his mother when she heard the complaints of the victim’s mothers. “Joe please stop; remember what goes around comes around”. He never listened and now he was facing the consequences. Later that day Joe and his mother received the news from the principal that Joe could no longer stay at the college. Joe left and no school would accept his horrible attitude. He tried to find a job but it was very difficult. He found one as a cleaner and worked 10 hour days for very little pay. He cannot support his wife and children barley being able to make mince meat. He would often cry and wish that he had treated students at his school better and if he had he would not have ended up where he was. Sometimes he would even see ex students that he used to bully in suits and very fast cars. He should have listened to when his mother told him.
What goes around comes around
The tale of Annie
ReplyDeleteKimberley West
11C
Target Audience=young children
Young Annie kissed her mother goodbye as she skipped off to school carrying her brand new pencil case for show and tell. When Annie arrived to class, she could clearly see that her pencil case was far prettier than anyone else's, and so when it came time for Annie to present her pencil case to the class, that's exactly what she told them.
"My pencil case is new and shiny and pretty, and none of your pencil cases even compare to mine!" she exclaimed with glee.
That night however, Annie was far too busy thinking about her superior pencil case to realise that the bathroom of her house was missing comletely.
The next day, Annie skipped off to school with her brand new lunch box. When, once again, Annie noticed that her lunch box was far better than her classmate's lunch boxes, she exclaimed loudly "My lunch box is new and strong and pretty, and none of your lunch boxes even compare to mine!"
That night however, Annie was far too busy thinking about her superior lunch box to notice that the kitchen of her house was missing completely.
The next day, Annie skipped off to school carrying her brand new back pack. Once again, Annie saw how old and tattered everyone else's back packs were, and she smugly stated "My back pack is new and big and beautiful, and none of your back packs even compare to mine!"
That night however, Annie noticed that her ENTIRE bedroom was missing completely! All Annie had left in fact, was her brand new pencil case, her brand new lunch box, and her brand new back pack.
With nowhere to sleep, Annie wandered off down the street in search of a place to stay, when she passed the house of Billy, a member of her class. Annie knocked at the door and when Billy answered, she asked him if she could sleep over at his place.
"Sorry Annie" Billy replied. "But I'm afraid that my bed won't be new, shiny or pretty enough for you", and with that, Billy closed his door on Annie.
Annie visited three more of her classmate's houses, each with a similar reaction. Annie even offered to give them her pencil case, but apparently, pencil cases aren't as important to her classmates as they were to Annie.
From this day forth, young Annie has continued to live out on the street, without any necessities. Annies is now a grumpy young girl, and regrets nothing more in life, than gloating about her material posessions.
The Helping Hand
ReplyDeleteDaniel Holten
11 C
Target Audience: Ages 9-12 ( Children )
Late one afternoon little Micheal was walking home from school when he decided that with the left over money from his school lunch that is mum had given him, he was gonna stop off at the nearest milkbar to grab and icecream.
Now on his way to the milkbar little Micheal heard a cry for help just across the park from where he was walking through, so in a state of stagger he swiftley yet quickly ran to see what all the fuss was about.
When lying there in the freshly mowed grass, was a young girl no older then he was in tears. Confused Micheal asked the young girl " whats the matter"? She replied "some guy just stole my bag with all my money in it and now i am un able to get home".
So in shock little Micheal offered his left over money which amounted to $4.75, to this young girl who had just be mugged.
In amongst all this commotion the young girl had leaped up from the ground and had rapped her hands around little Micheal in joy and delight.
So with and appreciated look on the young girls face she hopped onto the bus and headed home with the money that Micheal had given her. Aswell did little micheal continue on his way home.
Now although Micheal was unable to perchase his icecream he had done a great deed in assisting the young girl in need, and in doing so put others before him self which is far more gratifying then any other thing imagenable.
So the moral of the fable is not only put others before your self but never be affraid to help a lending hand because it can go a long way, and you just might put a smile on someones face.
The End
Two Wrongs Don't Make It Right
ReplyDeleteDominic Centrone 11M
Target Audience: Children
The Story Of Cary And Oswald
There was once a peaceful race of beings called the ‘elves’. They were well known for their kindness and whole hearts. They lived at the base of a large mountain that was so big that only the naughtiest of all elves have ever been to the top to see the almighty dragon that was said to be the judge of what is wrong and right in the elf world.
There were two young boys named Cary and Oswald these boys lived next door to each other and were currently having an argument. Cary said “OSWALD YOUR WRONG” “NO I AM NOT!” cried Oswald and he stormed back into his house. That night Oswald was so angry that he went outside and threw an egg at Cary’s house and left an awful mess all over it. Cary awoke the next morning and saw the large mess and got very angry and wanted revenge on his neighbour. So that night Cary went and threw two eggs at Oswald’s house and left an even bigger mess.
The next morning came and Oswald woke up and wiped his eyes to see the mess all over his windows, he was furious! Oswald got dressed and walked over to Cary’s house and knocked on the door.
Cary opened the door to see nothing but a fist flying towards his face, and then BANG he was hit. Cary got up and tackled Oswald and they were fighting like professional wrestlers then all of a sudden, a booming voice from the mountain screamed “OSWALD AND CARY! YOU ARE BOTH TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN AND COME AND SEE ME, NOW!” Both were in such shock that they stopped dead, then like scared mice they ran inside to their house packed their bags.
As they climbed to the top of the mountain there was silence neither wanted to say a word to the other. They reached the cave and slowly walked in, there was the dragon waiting for them. He spoke smoothly and softly and said to the elves “Did either of you achieve anything by fighting?” “No” They both replied. Then the dragon said “Are you any better than the person that upset you in the first place by reacting and causing them harm as well?”
Both of the elves then realised that they should not be fighting and neither was better than the other. Cary and Oswald apologised to each other and the dragon let them return to their homes.
The moral of the story ‘Two Wrongs Don’t Make It Right’ by attacking Oswald back, Cary is no better himself.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBetter be safe than sorry
ReplyDeleteTarget Audience = Teens
It was late evening and the atmosphere of 66 Evans Ave was filled with commotion of fifty or more teens talking, yelling, dancing and partying the night away.
The air had the strong smell of BO and reverberated with loud pop music. The teens drank, ate, played video games and mucked around. The hours went by quickly and soon it was time to leave.
‘See ya Ryan.’
‘Great Party Man!’
‘Thanks for Comin.’
‘See ya Ryan!’
‘See ya Guys.’
‘When’s the next party?”
‘Bye.’
‘See you tomorrow.’
A group of 5 teenagers were the last leave, they stepped out onto Ryans front yard.
‘See you Guys Tomorrow.’
‘Bye Ryan’
‘See ya tomorrow’
The others had left or were leaving, some walked off down the street, doors thumped as several high performance, super charged cars left ripping down the street each crammed with several teenagers. The last 5 walked down the street and they stopped before a small Toyota Camry.
Jason fumbled with his keys trying his best to open the door; two of them exchanged worried looks. One by one they crammed themselves into the car, the last of them stubbled towards the passenger door and collapsed into the seat.
‘Hey Mike are you alright to drive; you haven’t been drinking have you’
‘Don’t worry trust me’
However they weren’t all convinced. Click.
Julie Says ‘Aren’t you going to put on your seat belt’. Grant replies with a scoff.
‘Come on lets go home’.
The car starts and drives down the street, it’s pitch dark and when they enter the main road there are very few cars. They drive slowly at first but soon they speed up Julie notices that Jason is swerving slightly and that he struggling to keep a constant speed. They continue Driving down the empty road as the teenagers talk about the nights’ party and the plans they have for the coming week.
‘Hey!’
‘What’
‘You missed my turn’
‘Wait, No I….
The teens saw a blinding flash of light and the heard blare of a horn moments before they over shot the intersection and collided with an oncoming semi trailer…
September 18th 1944
ReplyDeleteNever leave a man behind . . . this is a saying thrown around by old men, I heard this while growing up but never thought anything of it, but on this date in Holland is a day ill never forgot this day that has engulfed me forever the day I helped a fellow troop who lost his leg to a war we were to young to understand it went like this or of what I can remember of it
There had been many days of fighting off the Germans off our line days full of death and horrific acts of murder I have never seen anything like it one day your sitting around a fire with your mates talking and having a laugh the next u see there twisted and mutilated corpse lying on the ground those are the things I will never forget. This day was to stick with me to the day I die the Germans had pushed us to far back it was time for retreat me and every other soldier knew we could not hold them off any longer, the call was made and we ran for our lives dodging bullets and grenade fire along the way, I thought we were all in the clear until I heard a scream that still rings in my ears until now just as im writing I turn around and see one of the men lying along the ground leg blown off from what I could see a mine that had been planted. He’s lying there eyes fixed on my covered in blood I didn’t know what to do but I knew in my mind I had to save him ill never forget never leave a man behind this was always said through out our regiment, I ran back bullets flying flung him onto my shoulders and ran for my life. Massive amounts of machine gun fire was let out on me twisting and turning as I ran trying to dodge every bullet luckily I made it over the line and I gave the man to a medic he quickly bandaged him and then took him to the hospital.
I was later sitting around with a few of the men chatting and having a good laugh where I saw this man coming over to me limping with a crutch in one hand and missing a leg. I discovered that it was the man I had saved he said to me “ because of you my girlfriend was able to tell that she is pregnant be cause of you I am a father” I replied “ never leave a man behind’’
Michael Kolotas
Moral: Never leave a man behind
Target Audience: 15-18
By Madeline Richardson, 11 Studies of Religion, Mr Bosco
ReplyDeleteAudience: 5-10 year old girls of Western culture who enjoy playing with dolls.
“The Golden Dress”
One fine day, Alexandra the doll was taking a stroll with her mistress along the shop fronts of London. She sighed longingly as she peered through the windows of every shop they passed, each containing more beautiful clothes than the shop before. Alexandra reached the last shop and stood on her toes to catch a glimpse through the window. She saw the most magnificent golden dress that appeared to shimmer in the sunlight. Glancing down at her purple outfit, Alexandra couldn’t help but wish that she were wearing the golden dress.
The next day, all Alexandra could think about was the dress. She couldn’t concentrate on anything around her and didn’t notice as her mistress carried her to the airport. Alexandra was so lost in thought that she didn’t realise she was falling until she hit the ground with a hard thump. “Oh dear!” cried Alexandra, as she looked up to see feet stampeding past. “Here you go, love”, a man said as he picked Alexandra up and placed her on some nearby luggage. “Why thank-”, Alexandra started, but was stopped by a hard push from behind. It sent her flying through the air and she landed with another thump. This time, the floor was moving! “Where am I?” thought Alexandra as she rubbed her sore legs. She looked up to see mountains and mountains of bags.
The next morning, Alexandra awoke with a start. “Hello?”, called a voice. Alexandra studied the doll in front of her. The doll was tattered, made from a cloth that was covered in grime. She was wearing nothing but rags. At once, Alexandra felt grateful for her purple outfit. “Where am I?”, wondered Alexandra. “You are in Africa”, the doll replied. Sure enough, as Alexandra looked around, she could see the grass huts and wild animals she had seen in pictures of Africa.
After speaking to the doll, Alexandra wandered her way across the village to the place described to her. “This is where your mistress awaits”, the doll had said. Sure enough, there was another plane waiting to take off. Alexandra jumped through the luggage doors just as they were closing and squeezed her way through the bags to find a place to rest. When Alexandra woke up, she was back in London.
“Alexandra?”, called a small voice. “ALEXANDRA! I found you!”, the voice shouted. Scooping the doll into her arms, Alexandra’s mistress carried her all the way home. The next day, Alexandra was taking another stroll when she came across the golden dress in the window. This time, the dress appeared to have lost its glow. Alexandra smiled as she realised that she had what she wanted right where she was, and didn’t need the dress after all.
The moral of the story is not to take for granted what you have, because you don’t realise how much you do have until it’s gone.
Reno Lombardo
ReplyDelete11Paul
Target audience = children
One day there were two little boys that went shopping with there parents. They went shopping because is was that time of year again were you for thing that u need for the coming school year. There parents said first stop is at McDonalds for some lunch so the kid got a nugget happy meal , so after they had finished lunch they went off to Kmart to find her son a lunch box. So they went In to Kmart and they couldn’t find were the penicil case were located in the Kmart store so the mums finale found the penicil cases and said to her son say her and go fined your self I nice penicil case for your self while I go find some clothes for my self I will be only ten minutes
I wont be very long she said to her son, don’t do anything Silly while I’m
gone. When his mum left he looked at his watch and said mum should be back at half past ten .then this other boy came up to him and said to him that is my lunch box my mum is going to buy it for me .no she is not my mum is going to buy it for me so both of the boys started a big fight in Kmart there was punches big thrown kick and a lot of other stuff going on they even start to run around the shop and the ran straight past there mothers one of the kids mother got her son gave him a clip around the ears and said to him you are being punished when we go home so she take his TV , psp, and ds off him he was not aloud to play with the things for one mouth for doing that bad deed.
Phoebe Yang (11E)
ReplyDeleteNever Judge a Book by Its Cover
Targeting children
Once upon a time, there was a large forest. Little Lily lives with her fairy godmother on one end of the forest in a fancy brick house. Their lives were peaceful and trouble-free except for the unfortunate encounters with the evil witch. The witch hated them and had always tried to chase them out of “her” forest.
One day, the fairy godmother asked Little Lily to go to the river and bring back a bucket of water.
“Come back as soon as possible and do not talk to strangers.” The fairy godmother warned Little Lily.
“Yes, I will.” Little Lily answered obediently as she went out.
After some time, Little Lily reached the river. She knelt down on the river bank and scooped up some water. The water was sparkling under the sunlight and looked really inviting. Little Lily decided that she would wash her face before going back home. She closed her eyes and splashed water on her face. However, when she opened up her eyes again, she saw the reflection of a beautiful lady standing right behind her.
“You dropped your hair clip.” The lady smiled warmly as she handed the hair clip back to Little Lily.
“Thank you.” Little Lily said.
“What are you doing here all alone?” The lady said as she brushed her golden locks away from her face.
Little Lily was so stunt by the lady’s beauty that she hesitated a second before telling the glamorous lady about her task that her fairy godmother gave her.
“Aw, you are such a sweet girl and it must be tiring for you to carry such a heavy bucket in a hot day,” the lady said as she shook her head with pity, “why don’t you pick up your bucket and follow me to my house for an ice cream?”
Little Lily agreed right away. She was about to pick up her bucket when she felt a great push on her back and fell into the river. The “splash” was followed by roars of fearsome laughter. While Little Lily screamed and struggled in the water, the beautiful lady’s changed to show her true self. In a blink of an eye, she turned into the evil witch.
“Die! Die! Then there would be one less invader in my forest.” The witch cried triumphantly.
Little Lily choked and started to sink when her fairy godmother grabbed her hands and pulled her out. The witch knew that her plan had failed and fled.
“When you did not return, I came looking for you and saw what had happened.” The fairy godmother reprimanded Little Lily, “You should not have trusted her just because she looked kind and beautiful.”
From then on, Little Lily always remembered that she should never judge a book by its cover.
Benjamin Plummer (11 Edwin)
ReplyDeleteTarget audience = children [because they are impressionable] or their parents!
Being greedy can destroy what you love…The revised tale of King Midas
Once there lived a little boy named George. George lived in a well to do house in a nice ‘well to do’ neighbourhood. George was an only child and was quite spoilt by his parents. His parents often tried to “Disciple” him by taking away his first favourite video game or his favourite remote control car, but as George had so many video games and remote controlled cars, the loss of one hardly mattered. Sure, George would kick up a fuss over it for the benefit of his parents, but soon he would get over it and content himself with his second or third favourite object.
Anyway, one day George saw an advertisement on the TV for a brand new super-dooper set of action figures that were the latest craze. George gazed mesmerised at the screen, mad with greed. He must have those action figures! George however was not going to be content with merely one of the figures, oh no, George would have them all… A few days later, Georges father asked whether or not George would like to go shopping with him for groceries and, much to the father’s surprise, George accepted. It happened, that the particular store which George and his father were shopping at, had for sale the FULL RANGE of the brand-new action figures. Needless to say as soon as the shopping was nearing completion, George begged and grovelled to his father for the action figures. The whole set!
Needless to say, George’s father, in the face of such merciless begging and whinging, purchased the entire set of action figures for George. (George’s father had a good job as a lawyer for a large law firm and was not short of cash…) As soon as George got home, he played with the action figures and for the next few days gloated over them and made his peers at school sick with envy, but after these few days the novelty wore off. Later the next week, George’s mother decided, while George was out, to tidy George’s room. George’s mother, for lack of anywhere to put them placed Georges new action figures in his already packed to overflowing cupboard. The way she stacked the figures left something to be desired, and as such the pile was balanced quite precariously. Underneath the pile was George’s most prized possession, his collection of rare ‘classic’ video games.
Later that day, George returned home and traipsed upstairs to his room. Upon entering, he discovered that his mother had, very kindly, tidied it for him. George then set out to find is ‘classic’ video games to play them for the rest of the day. Once George opened his cupboard however he realised that he would have to move his pile worthless (in his new opinion) action figures. George leaned into the cupboard to grab his video games, when the stack of figures finally collapsed. CRUNCH! SMASH! Right on top of his pile of games, smashing not only all the video games, but all the figures as well. And from that day on George resisted the urge to be greedy as he now knew the error of his past ways.
Eloise Cook
ReplyDeleteIf you try to be somebody else you end up making a fool of yourself.
Once upon a time there was an elf called Freddie Hamburger, he was not the most popular elf at his school in Gummi Bear village. He had a couple of close elf friends, but they would all go out to really cool space parties and socialize with other people while poor old Freddie just sat at his home with his family. All of his family were so proud of him and were constantly telling him what a great kid he was and how he had a really positive outlook on the future. But Freddie was sick of being the innocent child at home, the smartest in the school and the overall goodie-goodie. He had heard about Smith Terry’s party a couple of weeks before and had planned his escape to go to this party and make a surprise appearance. Of course his parents would not voluntarily let him out because they think that he would become poisoned by the outside world and lose his smart genes, so he had devised a plan using his brain and some awesome luck. This particular night his parents were going out for a ride in their lollimobile so he was able to get away with anything he wanted. He quickly got changed in his best looking jelly outfit and did his hair like all of the popular boys did. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and thought that he looked smashing! He got a lift on a banana-rama and arrived at the party 20 micro-seconds later, when it was already in full swing. He went in search for elves he knew but was already getting some interested looks. He found his friends and began socializing with them, even though they were very surprised to see him there. Three hours passed and Freddie decided that he better leave to beat his parents’ home. He got home and thought that the night had been a real success; he had talked to popular elves and engaged in many conversations. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror when he arrived home and realized that he did not even recognize the image staring back at him. He looked stupid in his best outfit and his hair made him look ridiculous. He did not even know what words were coming out of his mouth, they were not his own, normally intelligent, words. He climbed down his beanstalk, crawled into his bed and realized that he had been very silly. The next day at elf school nobody looked at him the same and others were whispering about him behind his back. He felt ridiculous and stupid and wished he had never gone to that party. He realized how good his life was when he had concentrated on his schoolwork and never let any of that bother him and he had actually been truly happy.
Freddie realized that you don’t need popularity to be happy and that when you try to be somebody you are not, you end up looking ridiculous
Eloise Cook
ReplyDeletechildren = target audience
Matthew Furlong
ReplyDeleteTarget audience: 12-15
Moral: If there’s a will there’s a way
William is a 13 year old boy, he isn’t the smartest person but is popular and has lots of friends. He hates maths and wishes he didn’t have to do maths.
“I give up I can not understand this”, said William doing his maths homework. “William what is wrong” his mother asked? “Algebra is too hard and I have a topic test tomorrow morning for my final yr 8 grades”. Don’t give up, I’m sure you understanding the question wrong. No mum it is simple but I don’t know how to answer the question. Do you know what my mother taught me when I had something I wanted to give up on, “if there is a will there’s a way. What does that means asked William. OK, mum said, Does a Football team give up because they are losing 20 – 0 in a game, No. Does a swimmer give up in 1500m because there opponent is 15 seconds in front of them, No. Does a teacher give up teaching because of there students are misbehaving in class, No. They all believe in themselves and have stamina. Ok thank you mum I have another try.
The next day William sat at his desk in his maths class taking his maths topic test. He answered every question in the exam paper. He was able to believe in himself and have stamina and take the paper head on. Then few weeks later his school report came and he got a B for mathematics.
The Story of the boy who didn’t believe in himself
The grass is not greener on the other side
ReplyDeleteAudience: children (to blind to see two sides.)
Once upon a time in a land not far from Dundas, lived a family which consisted of a mother who’s name was Celine. She lived alone with her son James.
Celine and her partner David divorced quite some time ago, enduring endless court battles resulting in the split up of the two of their children; James and Sam whom were both aged 11. James moved in with his mother and Sam moved with his father. During the first months of the new arrangement Celine was having some complications with finding a job. This left her and her son surviving only on staples. On the other hand David had luckily inherited his fathers’ job after his unfortunate death.
James kept in contact with his brother and father learning all about their new life together. However this was not all joy and happiness for James as he began to grow green with envy. He never told his brother Sam about his mother’s failure day after day trying to find work and that she struggled to supply a meal each night. Each morning James was awoken with a kiss placed upon his forehead and a small voice saying “sweetie, its time to get up”. Celine would smile as she prepared his breakfast and say her thoughts on what she may cook for dinner that evening.
However, on the other side of the grass there was Sam and his father. Sam was awoken at 6am each day to prepare for school, while his father said bye and rushed out the door to begin a long, arduous day at work. Each day Sam awoke without a smile and an ounce of enthusiasm. He would arrive home after school, to find he had to once again make his own dinner and prepare his clothing for the following day. Nevertheless James had no idea how deferent their lives we’re and in what sense.
One day James and his mum had a fight. James was so enraged from the fight that he ran away. He ran to his father’s house, only to find his brother Sam home alone. “Where’s dad”? He asked dumbfounded. “At work” hissed Sam. James fell back into a world of amazement realising, that even though his mother was stressed about finding a job, she was always there, smiling and loving and caring. For once in his life, he knew what it was like to be grateful.
Written by: Jordan Wingate
Tony Han
ReplyDeleteDon't judge people by the way they look
Target Audience: Children’s aged 7-12
Kevin song, a young boy known to have the ugliest looking face lived in a village called looksdale.
At school or anywhere he went he was rejected as his big chin pointed out like the shape of the moon, eyes big that it looks like it will almost fall off and because of his flat and broad nose. But as he had the ugliest face, only his lips was the most beautiful looking lips ever compared to everyone in the village.
One day at school Kevin saw a girl who was lonely and sad in the corner eating her lunch by herself, as of this Kevin felt a tingling of pain in his heart. He knew that it was a sign for him to help her in her problems. As he approached her he saw that she was unlike others, she was very pretty and had perfect blond hair with blue glimmering eyes, in fact she was the prettiest in the village. Kevin was dumbstruck as he did not understand why people pretty like her would be lonely and in grief. When Kevin sat next to her and said “Hi” she seemed to smile at him and she answered back “Hi”. Kevin was amazed of how a person like her would smile at him and reply back to his words. As of this Kevin smiled back at her, as she kept smiling so gently she said” You have the prettiest smile”, without a doubt Kevin replied back “You too”. Without Kevin asking her what was wrong he could see that she had a disability, she was on a wheel chair. As from that day they did not care about their looks or ability and they became best friends.
Angela, who her name was, saw one day that the school bullies were hitting Kevin for no reason and people were cheering on. Angela immediately reacted and tried to stop them but unfortunately one of the bullies pushed Angela off the wheel chair while she was trying to protect Kevin. As Kevin saw the moment Angela fell off he tried his best to stop them getting Angela. Kevin tried all he can by taking all the hits from the bullies. He tried asking for forgiveness but they would not stop.
As people were throwing stones and Kevin saying”This is what u get monster” a big piece of rock hit Kevin on the head, causing him to collapse. Angela saw that Kevin was lying on the ground and that people suddenly stopped hitting Kevin. She tried to wake him up but Kevin would not move a bit, when she looked at her hand she saw blood coming from his head and from that point she knew that he had died. She cried, and she told him that she had always loved him from the moment she saw his smile and his lips. She kissed Kevin and got back up on her wheel chair holding the lifeless arms of Kevin. She stated and yelled to the people that you should never judge people by the way they look. It is their heart and thought which is important.
Kris O'Sullivan
ReplyDelete"What goes around comes around"
Audience: Children.
John was the ultimate 'popular' kid at Westville Primary School. He thought he was better than anybody else there, he told everyone what to do, he picked on the younger kids and always bullied the new kids to the school.
Time after time, he would be sent the principles office for misbehaving. Though, time and time again, he would be let off and his misbehavior and bullying would continue. Eventually, his parent's were called to the school for an interview because the teachers and pupils could no longer handle his attitude towards everyone.
During that interveiw, his parents were told everything that their son, John had been envolved in. They were enraged, and told him "You wait John, what goes around comes around!". He simply shrugged off the comment.
He was given one last chance to improve his behavior and attitude at the school, but after a week of continual misbehavior, he was expelled.
He enrolled into a new school and on the first day, he expected to be king, yet again. He quickly discovered that he was no longer 'king', and was actually the 'new kid' who everyone bullied, in particular, a boy by the name of Luke.
He went home that day, and cried to his parents. He told them "It's not fair! What did i do to be treated so horribly by all the kids, especially Luke!". His parents simply looked at him and told him, "At your old school. You were Luke. We told you, What goes around comes around."
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid Jimmy’s parents always told him to listen when a teacher was talking, as it would always come in handy one day. Normally he would pay attention and then by the end of it realise that what he had just heard didn’t affect him so, eventually he started to block it out and go off to sleep.
ReplyDeleteThis went on for a couple of weeks and it seemed to be working all right for him so, one day when the teacher started to address the class he did what he does best and went off to sleep. Little did he know that what the teacher was talking about was what to do in the case of a fire. The teacher was talking about where to go in case of an emergency and other important facts. In most cases he would have been fine and not have had to worry but in this case it was extremely important. The teacher also told them that the alarm system had changed and so instead the normal bell would be sounded.
A couple of days later he was on the ovals by himself when he heard the sound of the bell, which he thought, signalled the end of lunch. Because of this he went of to his next class unaware that the bell was actually sounded to signal that there was a fire. As he was walking towards his next class, which was science, he didn’t bother to notice that every other student was walking the other way and just chose to carry on with what he was doing.
As Jimmy got closer to the science labs he noticed the smell of smoke and just thought it was another experiment. So he kept walking towards the labs, as he was about to put his bag down outside the science lab there was an explosion, which came from inside, sending Jimmy flying (as he was on fire). He was knocked unconscious by the explosion.
He woke up 30 minutes later as Paramedics were working on him and then he realised what had happened.
The Moral of the story is that no matter how boring and irrelevant the things teachers teach us it will come in handy later in life.
Nick Bouma – 20657146 – Mr Bosco - SOR
Target audience = children
ReplyDeletePolished version ( hopefully)
Joe Rogers is the school bully at ST Patrick’s Marist college east wood. Everyday he would torment fellow students at his school.
He would bully the year sevens make other students buy his lunch and beat up other students. Everyone was petrified off him and therefore was too scared to say anything. A new student arrived at the school and Joe immediately began to bully him, however this new student was prepared to stick up for himself and others.
Joe thought that if he couldn’t bully this new student then he would take his anger out on other people. The new student, mike decided to build up his courage and tell the year coordinator. Joe found himself in a very bad position facing being expelled. He never listened to his mother when she heard the
complaints of the victim’s mothers.
“Joe please stop; remember what goes around comes around”. He never listened and now he was facing the consequences.
Later that day Joe and his mother received the news from the principal that Joe could no longer stay at the college. Joe left the collage and no school would accept his horrible attitude. He tried to find a job but it was very difficult. He found one as a cleaner and worked 10 hour days for very little pay. He cannot support his wife and children barley being able to make mince meat. He would often cry and wish that he had treated students at his school better and if he had he would not have ended up where he was.
Sometimes he would even see EX students that he used to bully in suits and very fast cars. He should have listened to when his mother told him.
What goes around comes around
September 18th 1944
ReplyDeleteNever leave a man behind . . . this is a saying thrown around by old men, I heard this while growing up but never thought anything of it, but on this date in Holland is a day ill never forgot this day that has engulfed me forever the day I helped a fellow troop who lost his leg to a war we were to young to understand it went like this or of what I can remember of it
There had been many days of fighting off the Germans off our line days full of death and horrific acts of murder I have never seen anything like it one day your sitting around a fire with your mates talking and having a laugh the next u see there twisted and mutilated corpse lying on the ground those are the things I will never forget, this day was to stick with me to the day I die. The Germans had pushed us to far back it was time for retreat me and every other soldier knew we could not hold them off any longer, the call was made and we ran for our lives dodging bullets and grenade fire along the way, I thought we were all in the clear until I heard a scream that still rings in my ears until now just as im writing I turn around and see one of the men lying along the ground leg blown off from what I could see a mine that had been planted, has completely removed his leg. He’s lying there eyes fixed on me covered in blood I didn’t know what to do but I knew in my mind I had to save him. Ill never forget never leave a man behind this was always said through out our regiment, I ran back bullets flying flung him onto my shoulders and ran for my life. Massive amounts of machine gun fire was let out on me twisting and turning as I ran trying to dodge every bullet luckily I made it over the line and I gave the man to a medic he quickly bandaged him and then took him to the hospital.
I was later sitting around with a few of the men chatting and having a good laugh where I saw this man coming over to me limping with a crutch in one hand and missing a leg. I discovered that it was the man I had saved he said to me “ because of you my girlfriend was able to tell me that she is pregnant be cause of you I am a father”
I replied “ never leave a man behind’’
Michael Kolotas
Moral: Never leave a man behind
Good copy
Talia Birol
ReplyDeleteTarget Audience: 13-18
One day at a school in the city, where like every other school you have the plastics who everyone pretends to like, the jocks, the geeks, the drama freaks and the plain and simple outcasts of the school. Now obviously the plastics and the jocks ran the school so what ever was going on throughout the school always went through them.
It was the start of the year and as usual all the different groups went their separate ways, but there was a new girl…who was she? Did anyone know her?
This girl looked a little odd, different to everyone else, like she had never been to a school before. The ‘plastics’ walked up to the new girl and introduced themselves and made sure that she got the message that they ran the school and one step out of line and she would know about it. Of course they said this in the most subtle way possible.
Over the next few weeks people from the school started to realize that their belongings were missing from their lockers. Now the only person that looked suspicious was the new girl. She always kept to herself, didn’t talk to anyone but her teachers, she wore horrible clothes and carried her backpack with her everywhere she went.
The leader of the plastic group automatically assumed it was the new girl so she approached her and made her go to the principle and confess. The whole school despised the new girl they made the next few days hell for her until…
There was an announcement for Michelle branch (leader of the plastics) to go immediately to the principles office. Everyone was shocked gossip started it was on!
Why did she have to go?
An hour passed and a school assembly was held Michelle was told to stand up in front of the school and apologise to her fellow school friends and to the new girl as it wasn’t her that stole everybody’s’ belongings it was Michelle.
The students felt extremely bad for the new girl and apologized profusely but still wondered why Michelle did it?
Eloise Cook
ReplyDeleteaudience = children
Moral -If you try to be somebody else you end up making a fool of yourself.
Once upon a time there was an elf called Freddie Hamburger, he was not the most popular elf at his school in Gummi Bear village. He had a couple of close elf friends, but they would all go out to really cool space parties and socialize with other people while poor old Freddie just sat at his home with his family. All of his family were so proud of him and were constantly telling him what a great kid he was and how he had a really positive outlook on the future.
Freddie was sick of being the innocent child at home, the smartest in the school and the overall goodie-goodie. He had heard about Smith Terry’s party a couple of weeks before and had planned his escape to go to this party and make a surprise appearance. Of course his parents would not voluntarily let him out because they think that he would become poisoned by the outside world and lose his smart genes, so he had devised a plan using his brain and some awesome luck. This particular night his parents were going out for a ride in their lollimobile so he was able to get away with anything he wanted.
Freddie quickly got changed in his best looking jelly outfit and did his hair like all of the popular boys did. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and thought that he looked smashing! He got a lift on a banana-rama and arrived at the party 20 micro-seconds later, when it was already in full swing. He went in search for elves he knew but was already getting some interested looks. He found his friends and began socializing with them, even though they were very surprised to see him there. Three hours passed and Freddie decided that he better leave to beat his parents’ home.
When Freddie got home, he thought that the night had been a real success; he had talked to popular elves and engaged in many conversations. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror when he arrived home and realized that he did not even recognize the image staring back at him. He looked stupid in his best outfit and his hair made him look ridiculous. He did not even know what words were coming out of his mouth, they were not his own, normally intelligent, words. He climbed down his beanstalk, crawled into his bed and realized that he had been very silly.
The next day at elf school nobody looked at him the same and others were whispering about him behind his back. He felt ridiculous and stupid and wished he had never gone to that party. He realized how good his life was when he had concentrated on his schoolwork and never let any of that bother him and he had actually been truly happy.
Freddie realized that you don’t need popularity to be happy and that when you try to be somebody you are not, you end up looking ridiculous
3/2/09
Eloise, the addition of paragaphs is an improvement.
ReplyDeleteMelad, you are still not capitalising proper nouns, such as Eastwood.
Talia, your opening sentence is far too long. One idea per sentence. Also the head of a school is a Principal - a "principle" is a belief or rule.
Michael, try to avoid using the passive voice in expressions like "massive amounts of gun fire was let out on me". It sounds much better if you use the active voice. Eg. "Bullets blazed towards as I ran desperately for cover..."
Nick, I like the moral of your story.
Daniel, don't ever use SMS spelling in a formal writing piece again. Same goes for you Reno.
Phoebe, your dialogue is brilliant. Well chosen tags.
Ben, your story is well crafted in terms of plot and the integration of the moral. However, I'm not confident that an eleven-year-old would be familiar with the meaning of the word "traipsed". Remember who your audience is at all times.
Kim West and Dom Centrone - nice work. Your stories are well crafted and conveyed in a simple and direct fashion which would engage your target audience. Your close attention to spelling, punctuation and syntax is essential.
Daniel Holten, I like the story. But you really must get out of the habit of expressing yourself in such relaxed terms. Formal writing needs a more rigorous approach to grammar and spelling.
Madeline, very impressive work. You've adopted an engaging voice appropriate for your target audience. Your naturally flowing dialgue really enhances the story.
Andrew Ma, don't forget to add articles like "the" before nouns such as "commotion".
Kris, your story is simple and direct. Well chosen approach for your audience. But do try to avoid the American spelling of words like "behavior".
Jordan, great story. But you really need to learn the difference between too, to and two.
Matthew, if you are asking questions like "Does a teacher..." make sure it ends with a question mark. Also, your story sounds too much like a monologue and not enough like a narrative that you would tell to your chosen audience.
The Greedy Goat
ReplyDeleteDaniel Deed
10 Paul
Audience children 8- 13 years of age
There once was a young happy mountain goat, he was the happiest goat in the whole world, always climbing mountains and walls, he loved his life so much he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. But one day he went to climb a mountain and when he got back home his family was gone and he was all alone and he became sad. From then on he was angry and began complaining about everything. Until a week later he found a family of sheep who adopted him as there own. The Goat slowly became happier but he still complained that life could be better and the plains of grass they lived on were terrible and that there were better places out there somewhere waiting for him.
So after living with the sheep family for almost a year and everyday complaining about his life, the adventurous young mountain goat went looking for more, hoping to find something better in life. He searched far and wide until he found a big wall and when he got to the big wall he found a dragon that was happily perched on top of the wall. When the dragon asked the Goat what he was doing and why he looked sad the goat answered the dragon he wants more, so the dragon explained to the goat what was on the other side of the wall and that the land was so beautiful and untouched by other animals that the grass was beautiful and luscious the water was cool, refreshing and much more hydrating than the water the goat was used to and that there were mountain chains as far as the eye could see that have never been climbed by anyone else. The goat hearing this was over whelmed by joy and happiness and went to climb over the wall straight away but the dragon stopped him and said if he wants to live in his bountiful land he would have to give the dragon something in return. So the goat thought long and hard about what he could give the dragon in return and after the dragon knocked back every idea he came up with in desperation the goat said that he can give him a family of sheep to eat. This caught the dragon’s attention and the goat agreed to give up the family who adopted him as their own for the promise of a better land for him to live in.
For days the goat thought he was happy but really he was doing everything he could to fill his day because inside he was still hollow knowing what he did to his loving sheep family. Until one day he finally saw the hollowness in the greener grass and that it is just the same if you have no one else to enjoy it with.